Ten Differences between Mathematicians and Writers

1. People don't say to mathematicians: "As long as you're happy yourself with it."

2. There is no such thing as chick-math.

3. People don't feel more qualified to talk about mathematics the more they have drunk.

4. 0.000% of mathematicians have started their career by being journalist for a Sunday tabloid.

5. Some mathematicians are good-looking but it doesn't make their work better.

6. When a mathematician submits a paper he doesn't reveal in an attached bio that his parents were alcoholics and that Liam Neeson once stayed in the house.

7. I have been to talks by famous mathematicans aimed at aspiring mathematicians, but they never had the title: "IT COULD BE YOU."

8. The only smooth operator a mathematician encounters is a C infinity function on a manifold.

9. The two letters I ever sent to mathematicians got replies.

10. I once met a mathematics publisher . He did not keep repeating "Quality is the number one factor" in an earnest tone.

11. When a mathematician reads this he'll think: "Witty and to-the-point." When a writer reads it he'll smirk and think: "Yeah, he's bitter."